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| I had to share these, they are so funny and my favourites are numbers 6 and 7, let me know which ones are your favourite. Enjoy reading these and smile! |
1. King Ozymandias of Assyria
was running low on cash after years of war with the Hittites. His
last great possession was the Star of the Euphrates, the most valuable diamond
in the ancient world. Desperate, he went to Croesus, the pawnbroker,
to ask for a loan.
Croesus said, "I'll give
you 100,000 dinars for it."
"But I paid a million
dinars for it," the King protested. "Don't you know who I
am? I am the king!"
Croesus replied, "When you
wish to pawn a Star, makes no difference who you are."
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2. Evidence has been found that
William Tell and his family were avid bowlers. Unfortunately, all the Swiss
League records were destroyed in a fire, ...and so we'll never know for whom
the Tells bowled.
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3. A man rushed into a busy
doctor's surgery and shouted, "Doctor! I think I'm shrinking!"
The doctor calmly responded,
"Now, settle down. You'll just have to be a little patient."
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4. An Indian chief was feeling
very sick, so he summoned the medicine man. After a brief examination, the
medicine man took out a long, thin strip of elk rawhide and gave it to the
chief, telling him to bite off, chew, and swallow one inch of the leather
every day.
After a month,
the medicine man returned to see how the chief was feeling.
The chief shrugged and
said, "The thong is ended, but the malady lingers on."
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5. A famous Viking explorer
returned home from a voyage and found his name missing from the town
register. His wife insisted on complaining to the local civic official,
who apologised profusely saying, "I must have taken Leif off my
census."
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6. There were three Indian
squaws. One slept on a deer skin, one slept on an elk skin, and the third
slept on a hippopotamus skin. All three became pregnant. The first
two each had a baby boy. The one who slept on the hippopotamus skin
had twin boys. This just goes to prove that... the squaw of the
hippopotamus is equal to the sons of the squaws of the other two hides.
(Some of you may need help with this one).
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7. A sceptical anthropologist
was cataloguing South American folk remedies with the assistance of a
tribal elder who indicated that the leaves of a particular fern were a
sure cure for any case of constipation. When the anthropologist expressed
his doubts, the elder looked him in the eye and said, "Let me tell
you, with fronds like these, you don't need enemas."
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